I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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