I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im holly from the hills drunk
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
