what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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