Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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