there's paper in my vomit.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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