sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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