you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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