so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
