I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
