Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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