dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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