I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
