My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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