no. you can't hotbox the world.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
