Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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