when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
