these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
