i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
