come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
