Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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