somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
