she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
