Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
