She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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