is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
