i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
