i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
