flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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