Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
