We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
