I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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