I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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