i just had sex bonerless
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
