Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you would pick up someone in the library
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
