I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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