Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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