How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
