Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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