I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
