if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
A+ Viking dick
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
