so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Pooping to opera.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
