nut hugger
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
well I can't set my house on fire every night
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
