their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He better not be in your backpack
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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