i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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