yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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