He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
