All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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