apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
