office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
