it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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