I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i believe in u and ur pee
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
