1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
