we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
